Self-Care for Kids

Self-care for Kids

We therapists like to throw around this word, “self-care.” Let’s start with what is “self-care?” Well, it is taking proper care of you as a person. We make sure we are sleeping, eating, exercising, getting our work done on time, and taking time for ourselves. We act like this is just something for adults. Well it’s not! Kids need self-care too. What do I mean?

Well, we make sure that kids eat healthy, they get outside and run around (cause let’s face it, if we don’t it is a BAD thing!), they go to bed on time, they go to the doctor when they need, and they do their school work. Well, along with all the things we teach kids we need to teach them, mostly by example to take time for themselves. Sometimes that comes in the form of a “time out” because they are having a rough moment. But, we adults take a “time out” too right? We go get coffee, go outside to some fresh air, or find some fun new activity to do.

We as adults need to teach our children that it is necessary to take a break from life and regroup ourselves. It may be “quite time.” It may be going outside to play or, learning some new skill or activity. Self-care should be something that your child enjoys. For some kids it may need to be more structured, for some it can just be going outside to play. We have to remember as adults that when kids are playing they are also learning. They learn social skills; they learn new skills like cooking, sewing, teamwork, and so on.

Self-care helps to teach children that it is okay to take time for yourself and enjoy something or to just take a break from people because they have had a rough day at school. They may need some extra cuddle time with a parent. They may need to just vent. It is okay to cry because they have had a bad day at school or someone has hurt them.

So, what I encourage the kids that I work with is to discover what they like to do for fun. So things I usually get are, sports, crafts, riding bikes, video games (in healthy doses), playing outside, just think of the things you did as a kid and help your child brainstorm what they can do. This will help them when they need some down time what they can do for themselves. I know kids that are so dependent on being entertained by their parent or sibling that they don’t know how to play one on one. How are they going to learn to work independently when they are older? This is a skill that needs to be taught so why not teach it as a way of self-care?

Some kids naturally just need that time to be alone and away from others. An adult’s job to help them figure out what they can do with their time because, we all know that for some kids if they don’t have ideas then they get a little too creative and then you have a problem or after about five minutes you as the parent may hear your child say “I’m bored!” We as adults showing them healthy things to do with our down time are a good way to start.

Making it a family activity is a way to do this or signing them up for a class or team, but, also keeping in mind, to not overdue things to the point that a child has no time at home because they have so many activities to do. I have heard the family rule, no more than two activities a week, so, for example, may be dance and soccer. This helps keep the family schedule in check and in control. Part of teaching self-care is teaching boundaries too. We don’t want our kids to think that they only way to be happy is to be busy. That is not at all the case. It is all about balance. It is okay to stay home for the day or the evening and just relax. That itself is self-care!  

Teaching self-care to kids is something that needs to be taught early and used often. Kids need to learn to take a break for themselves but also learn to be responsible for themselves and what they need to do for themselves so when they are adults they can learn to balance life a little better.  So when life gets a little crazy and out of control kids can learn to reel themselves back in.

Self-care is also important when there is some kind of family crisis or big stressor going on. As the adult watching your child and recognizing the signs of stress in your child is what is important. Then when they are stressed helping them to take extra time for them to again regroup is what is needed. This will hopefully if done effectively will help your child reduce their stress level.

Learning self-care for children when there isn’t a crisis going on is best because then they can hopefully shift their gears for when they are feeling stressed to help them relax better. This will hopefully reduce things like anxiety and stress to help them when they are feeling upset. This is part of learning self-control and boundaries.

Self-care is important for everyone including kids and teens. It is a good thing to practice early so that it becomes a healthy habit that lasts a life time. It doesn’t matter what profession or job you do everyone has stress. The job of being a kid isn’t always fun and games, it can be stressful too!