Childhood to Adulthood...Transitioning After High School

Childhood to Adulthood…Transitioning After High School

You did it mom, dad, and grad! You made it out of high school. Be proud! Stand tall! You have passed on to adulthood. Hopefully you have learned well. Now to the next phase! Adulthood! You know how you kept saying, “I can’t wait until I am a grown-up?” Well that time is here!

So many teens are graduating and moving on to a new chapter in their lives. They are excited and nervous all at once. Parents want nothing but the best for their grad. Now is that transition from childhood to adulthood. Parents hope and pray they raise their child to be a responsible adult. There are so many things they have yet to learn, except many teens have the idea that “I’m eighteen and I know everything!” Of course we all know they don’t really know everything.

As a parent how do you guide your child who is now an adult when they think they already know it all? After all they just graduated high school! Sorry parents, your job doesn’t end yet. Just because they are legally adults doesn’t mean they don’t still need your help and guidance. The question is how much help and guidance do you give? This can get very tricky!

Your child still may need help with money. That’s the first one. Are they still living in your house? Are they going away to college? How much help do you give? Well, they need to be working a job. There needs to be clear expectations of what you can do to help them and what you are expecting them to take care of. Are you going to help with a car, pay for college, get their first apartment? Where do you draw the line?

Help them with things like a checking and saving account. Help them with getting insurance. You know those adult things we all hate dealing with. Teach them how to be an adult. Hopefully they have been learning basic things like how to do laundry, clean house, and cook for themselves.

We all know at least one young adult who have parents who pay for EVERYTHING, and we get jealous. Is that really helping your child? Part of life is working hard to earn money to take care of yourself. Now, if they have a scholarship and grants to pay for school then great! They worked hard in school to get those things.  A little hard work never hurt anyone. If your child is working hard and trying then help where you are able, gas money, groceries, a cell phone bill, whatever you can afford to do.

What to do if they are not working or trying to pay their way? Well, then they need to learn. They may have learned all these things in high school, but they need to learn to work too. They need to learn how to deal with a boss or co-workers they don’t like. They need to learn to pay their bills and what is important and what isn’t.

Part of growing up is learning to live within your means. Debt should be avoided as much as possible. Many young people fall into the trap of credit cards, I did! It took me a long time to get out! If that means they have to work more and take less classes then so be it. If that means they live at home for a year or so while going to college then do it.

Help your young adult set up a budget and help them stick to it. Yes they need a car, but it doesn’t have to be brand new. Yes they need clothes and food and other basic needs, so teach them to budget what they do have. There is nothing wrong with thrift store shopping to get things you need.

How else can you help your young adult who is going away to college? Well, first off pray for them! Then find very practical ways to help. Stock them up on groceries and personal items. Get them gift cards for gas so they can come home. Save your change so they can do laundry. It all adds up.

Going out into the big bad world is exciting and scary all at once! Your young adult is most likely scared and not sure what to do. Keep your lines of communication open. Talk with your child regularly about the changes that are happening in their lives. There are really big decisions that your child will be making that hopefully they will come talk to you about. Things like loans, apartments, bills, friends, school, jobs, and so on.

One thing your child needs to be aware of is that now that they are an adult legally they need to put you on any forms for things like medical and mental health needs. This gives you permission to talk with doctors in case of an emergency. On the other side, you as parent need to respect that your child is no longer a child and needs some privacy.  

It is hard to let go of your child. But, don’t treat them like a child, they are an adult. Be there for them. Help them make good choices. Be there when they mess up. They will mess up. They will fail. They will get hurt. They will need your support. Just be there. Help them problem solve. Your job of being a parent isn’t done yet.