Love Your Neighbor

Love Your Neighbor

 

Valentine’s day is coming up this week. We think of kids filling out their classmate’s cards and planning a fun party at school. This is all well and good, but love needs to be something we practice all year long. We tell kids to love their neighbor, but do we show them how to love their neighbor through our actions? First, do we love the kids the way we should? Do we make them a high priority? Are we friendly to them in public? Do we put ourselves in their shoes? Are we helping those kiddos around us who are struggling? Kids have so many hurts that really go unseen or unnoticed.

How do we teach kids to love their neighbor? We lead and live by example! We as adults show them how to love others. Now, I am not talking romantic love. I am talking about showing someone you care for them by the things we do and say. We show them kindness. We love a kid who may seem unlovable. They are the ones who probably need it the most! That one kid who always seems angry, maybe he has a very valid reason for being angry! Maybe his parents are getting a divorce.

We as adults need to listen more and talk or lecture less. Kids sometimes just need to know someone cares about them. Maybe your kid has had a bad day, or they got in a fight with a friend. Or, your child’s friend ends up home alone after school. Why not invite them to hang out at your house until their parents get home?

We take care of our friends and help them when they need. We also help those who are struggling with having friends. Encourage your child to sit with the new kid at lunch, or to play with the kid that doesn’t ever seem to have friends. This is the true act of love. We love and care for someone no matter what they look like or who they are.

There are so many kids and adults who feel so very lonely. Imagine what would happen if we all took time to love on those people. Maybe things like depression and suicide may drop dramatically.  Love is not just a feeling it is also an action.

So, on all the days of the year practice the act of love but also loving those around you. Spread random acts of kindness and get your children involved. Show your kids and others around you that they are loved not just on special days but every day.

Friends For All

Friends for All

 

Some kids have an easier time making friends then others. Some kids they can walk up to any child and say, “do you want to play?” and off they go! While other kids really struggle to even have the confidence to just go into a room with kids they don’t know well. They stay to themselves and don’t say much to other kids around them.

So how do we as parents and caregivers of the kids who struggle help? Well, first off don’t force them! This could cause more anxiety then what is already there. Kids who struggle with having friends usually do so because they have self esteem issues. They are worried they will be hurt or rejected by a peer. Sometimes it is because they have been bullied or hurt by a close friend. Try to help your child figure out why they struggle with making friends.

Talk to them about what makes a good friend and why. Talk about the traits to look for in a friend. Do they share well? Are they kind? Do they like you for who you are? All these things are important in any friendship. How does your shy kid deal with making friends? It is okay to have a few close good friends. It is about the quality not the quantity of friends that a person has.

When your child or teen has friends make yourself as a parent available and aware of who they are hanging out with. Are they a good influence? Does your child tend to hang out with the “wrong” people? What can you do as a parent to encourage the “right” kinds of friends?

Allow your child to have them to your house. This way you can get to know them as a parent. You can keep on eye and observe any problems that may come up. Your house may be the safe house for the kids to hang out at.

Your child that struggles with making friends also may be introverted. This can make things a little harder for some kids to make friends. Allow your child to figure out who they want to hang out with. Don’t force your child to be friends with kids they do not feel comfortable around.

Some things that may make having friends more difficult. For example, if you homeschool your child of they have some sort of disability like Autism or Asperger’s syndrome. Some children are limited on how they meet friends. Help create opportunities for your children to meet other children like them and different from them. Allow them to do things like scouts, church activities, or other community activities. When they can do these things, it helps boost their self-confidence and learn appropriate social skills like boundaries and sharing.

When helping to guide your children or teens to the “right” friends help them decide what kind of friends they want and why. You may need to have talks about things like when a peer or a friend hurts them. Talk with them about how they can be a good friend too. What things they may be doing that are hurting their friend and what to do to fix it. When talking about the traits that make a good friend also help your child apply these traits to themselves.

Everyone needs friends. Help your child and teen pick the ones who are positive in their lives. Also help our child and teen be the positive friend in the life of someone else. Some kids are just lonely and don’t know how to be friends. Let your child or teen be that right friend for a lonely child.