Friends For All

Friends for All

 

Some kids have an easier time making friends then others. Some kids they can walk up to any child and say, “do you want to play?” and off they go! While other kids really struggle to even have the confidence to just go into a room with kids they don’t know well. They stay to themselves and don’t say much to other kids around them.

So how do we as parents and caregivers of the kids who struggle help? Well, first off don’t force them! This could cause more anxiety then what is already there. Kids who struggle with having friends usually do so because they have self esteem issues. They are worried they will be hurt or rejected by a peer. Sometimes it is because they have been bullied or hurt by a close friend. Try to help your child figure out why they struggle with making friends.

Talk to them about what makes a good friend and why. Talk about the traits to look for in a friend. Do they share well? Are they kind? Do they like you for who you are? All these things are important in any friendship. How does your shy kid deal with making friends? It is okay to have a few close good friends. It is about the quality not the quantity of friends that a person has.

When your child or teen has friends make yourself as a parent available and aware of who they are hanging out with. Are they a good influence? Does your child tend to hang out with the “wrong” people? What can you do as a parent to encourage the “right” kinds of friends?

Allow your child to have them to your house. This way you can get to know them as a parent. You can keep on eye and observe any problems that may come up. Your house may be the safe house for the kids to hang out at.

Your child that struggles with making friends also may be introverted. This can make things a little harder for some kids to make friends. Allow your child to figure out who they want to hang out with. Don’t force your child to be friends with kids they do not feel comfortable around.

Some things that may make having friends more difficult. For example, if you homeschool your child of they have some sort of disability like Autism or Asperger’s syndrome. Some children are limited on how they meet friends. Help create opportunities for your children to meet other children like them and different from them. Allow them to do things like scouts, church activities, or other community activities. When they can do these things, it helps boost their self-confidence and learn appropriate social skills like boundaries and sharing.

When helping to guide your children or teens to the “right” friends help them decide what kind of friends they want and why. You may need to have talks about things like when a peer or a friend hurts them. Talk with them about how they can be a good friend too. What things they may be doing that are hurting their friend and what to do to fix it. When talking about the traits that make a good friend also help your child apply these traits to themselves.

Everyone needs friends. Help your child and teen pick the ones who are positive in their lives. Also help our child and teen be the positive friend in the life of someone else. Some kids are just lonely and don’t know how to be friends. Let your child or teen be that right friend for a lonely child.