Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire...

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire…

None of us like to be lied to, especially when you are lied to by your child. Now, every kid goes through this phase at least once in their childhood. Kids lie for many different reasons. First, they want to see if they can get away with something. This could be a big something or a little something. Second, they lie to try to keep out of trouble. If your child has done something wrong most of the time they will try to lie to keep from getting in trouble, or try blaming someone or something else.

Yes some of these are cute and funny to a point. They may lie about taking a cookie from the cookie jar or who licked the Oreo filling out of the cookie and put it back. But what happens when it stops being cute and funny? What if it is a serious thing, like trying to cover up something like stealing or shoplifting? What if it is to cover up that they are being hurt by someone, or, if they have hurt someone else, then what?

 Well, lies have a way of coming out eventually. Some kids are really bad liars. And honestly, that is what you want as a parent, right? You want your child to be a bad liar so you catch them and you can punish them for their bad lie and they learn from it, at least for a while, right?

Now, what to do if your child doesn’t learn from their mistake? What if they are a good liar? Do you trust your kid again? How do you trust your kid again? Well, they have to rebuild trust with you. Also, you need to get to the bottom of why they are lying to begin with.  Is there a bigger problem going on? How can you tell your child is lying to you? Does their story change? Do the facts match their story?

When to call your kid out on their lie? Well, as soon as you figure out what they are up to. They need to learn that lying is not something to get into the habit of. It is a bad habit and it is something they need to understand is wrong. They need to understand that they will be in less trouble if they just come clean and tell the truth then to lie about something.

How do you as a parent punish a lying child? It depends on many things, age, and the lie, why they lied, and so on. Do you allow the lie to go on for a while to see if your child fesses up? This all depends on how you as a parent want to handle it. Is part of punishing your child having them apologizes to the person they lied to? It should be. They need to confess or acknowledge what they did and the lie they told. They need to see how lying to others effects their relationship with that person. I have seen some parents who have their child write out an apology to the person they lied to. I like this idea.

Children need to understand what happens when they lie. People are not so easy to trust someone when they are lied to. I tell kids all the time that I can’t help them if they choose to lie to me. I can’t trust what they are saying is true if they lie, or what the real problem is. Are they covering up something bad?

Lying is one of those habits that once it starts are very hard to stop. More and more lies get told in order to cover up the first thing being lied about. ­­­­So, as a parent helping to correct this lying habit is very important. Yes, you as a parent need to punish your child for lying. Your child needs to understand there are consequences for lying. Helping your child understand this is very important.

Your child will not get far in life if they lie their way through it. How will the make it through school, get a job, or be trusted by friends or family. If you and your child need help getting to the bottom of why your child feels the need to lie then it is time to seek professional help. There is a bigger problem in your child’s life that needs to be gotten to the bottom of.

Lying is not a good thing for you or your child. You want to be able to trust them and they want to be trusted. So, it needs to be worked out, no matter the age.