It Takes a Village

It Takes a Village

We have all heard the phrase, “It takes a Village.” This is very true on many different levels. As a parent you can’t do everything yourself and you can’t be all things to all people. Children and teens need a wide variety of helpers to get through life. They need to know there are others who can help them in a time when maybe for some reason their mom or dad cannot.

                As a parent you want to protect your child from harm and hurt. Part of that is helping your child or teen learn who they can trust in life. One thing I work on with children and teens to help them figure out who their support network is and who they can trust as we figure out who they can go to for help in many different places. So, for example if they are at school, or church, or with other supportive adults they can seek out when they need something.

                As parents it is okay to reach out for help and teach your children to do the same. Helping your child find those safe people is part of developing healthy relationships with others. So, in helping you as a parent and your child identify those “safe people” start talking about who is a safe person and why. What makes them a safe person?

                In the process of working with my clients as a child therapist I start asking my clients to identify who in their lives help them? Most of the time I get things like; mom, dad, aunts, uncles, siblings, grandparents, family friends, teachers, community members, and so on. Most of the time my clients can tell me who helps them and protects them, they know who is there for them and when. But it is a matter of helping them break down why they trust that person or go to that person for help.

                Then there is in some cases where a person who they once trusted is no longer there for whatever reason or a trusted person has done something to loose trust in the eyes of the child. For example leaving or abandoning them or hurting them in some way. This is part of the reason I help children find others who can help them then just one or two adults. It takes a village.

                So, as a trusted adult what are you doing to help other children and teens who need someone they can trust? You may be a stay at home mom (or dad) whose child has a friend who needs a place to hang out after school for a couple of hours. Why not your house? You could be helping out a single parent who may need an extra set of eyes, ears, or hands from time to time.

                You may be a teacher who makes it very clear to their students that you can be trusted and will help your students in any way you can. You may be a mentor or coach who has a child on your team who doesn’t have a dad. Do you have time to take that child fishing or to play at the park, or take them to dinner? You may have a neighbor who has lots of little ones and it struggling at Christmas. What can you do to help?

                Look around for ways to serve and help others. If everyone gave a little time, money, and help our world would be a much better place! Living in a small town and watching how people invest in each other and help each other is such a blessing to watch and be a part of. You don’t have to have lots of money to make an impact in a child’s life. Every boy needs an uncle and every girl needs an aunt. Join the village to make an impact.