Little People Big Feelings

Little People Big Feelings

We all know at least one kid who seems extra sensitive. They cry over the smallest of things, but, what to do for these kids who seem to cry and fall apart over things that seem so little or trivial. They have a hard time regulating their emotions. The parents are worn out and frustrated because they feel like they have messed up as a parent. 

What can be done to help? Some parents and caregivers feel helpless. Well, little ones need to learn what feelings are and how to deal with them. One of the biggest things I do when counseling children is help them identify their feelings and what to do when they have them. Kids feel those feelings they just don’t know what they are or how to deal with them.

So, the first step is to talk about feelings and help children identify when they are having feelings that don’t feel so good what they can do about it. So, if your child appears to be upset by something then acknowledge their feeling. Something like, “I see that you are angry. Is there something I can help you with?” Help your child label the feeling, if you can in the moment. I know this is easier said than done, especially when you the parent are upset too.

Some kids you can tell that their anger is just building and they are going to blow. Try to catch them before reaching that point. I know that this is hard at times and can’t always happen. I talk to kids all the time about feelings and help them say what they feel. This works well as long as their parent can listen to what they are feeling. If their parent does not listen to how they feel then children will not tell their feelings.

For some kids feelings can be very scary things, especially in cases that they are very sad, scared, or angry. These are very big feelings to deal with. A child’s reaction isn’t always going to go well. They are going to have meltdowns and fall apart. This is part of learning to deal with feelings.

Some kids let things bottle up so much that they keep things inside and they have other things happen like anxiety or depression. If kids are told for so long things like “oh, that isn’t how you feel,” or “your feeling is wrong.” They stop telling people how they feel. It comes out in different ways. They find unhealthy ways to cope with feelings.

Keep in mind when working with children who seem extra emotional; is there a reason for their extra emotions? What are they going through? What is happening to them or in their family that could be upsetting them? Changes or transitions in life can really cause disruption to a child’s routine. These could be little changes or big ones. But, keep in mind to little ones everything is a big deal. Adults need to be their safety net and help them learn to cope.

Please, asking as a mental health professional who works with these children, allow your child to have their feelings. They need to have their feelings acknowledged. Their feelings are their feelings. When you do this they will know that you are listening to them and can help them. They feel safe with you. This is what we all want to happen.  Help them talk through their feelings, even at the little age of three. Little people have feelings too!