Happy Family Reunion

Happy Family Reunion

It is summer time so it is also family time. Summer allows us extra time to spend with our families and have reunions, camping trips, vacations, time at Grandma’s. All of this is fun and exciting. But, how do you set boundaries for your children with your family?

First, try to keep your child’s routine as normal as possible. I know there are fireworks, bonfires, and other late-night activities. Sure, let your child enjoy those activities, but also be flexible. If your child is exhausted then by all means get them into bed! Allow times for quiet time and down time. Allow you and your child time to rest and have a break. Cousins are fun, but, everyone needs a little space to rest. Even if the solution is putting in a movie and everyone has a quite hour to rest their bodies from all the fun.

Second, do not plan every single moment of your time together. Yes, having things planned like going to the beach or to the movies is important, check your area for fun trips to do as a family.  But then also just as important is having time for kids to just be kids and play outside and have “free play.” This allows kids to play together if they choose and bond together with their cousins. When I was growing up some of my favorite memories of me and my cousins is just playing outside.

Third, let your child choose when they want to give hugs and kisses. If your child says no to a hug or a kiss respect their choice. It does not mean they do not like the person, it just means they are not in the mood to be touched. These are healthy boundaries. Healthy families will respect this and allow your child to be themselves.

Fourth, every family has their “drama moments” so just be aware of these. If you do not feel comfortable and feel like you need to leave then go with your gut. These may be the family members who may have been drinking a little too much, or like to pick fights for no apparent reason. You as the parent need to use your best judgement in knowing when to leave the situation. Yes, someone may be “hurt” because you leave but they will get over it. You need to do what is best for you and your children.

Family time should be a happy and fun time, but if it is not then use your best judgement and leave if for some reason you do not feel safe physically or emotionally. Enjoy your time with your family and build healthy family relationships that will last a life time.

Dear Moms..Take a Break, It's OK!

Dear Moms…Take a Break, It’s OK!

Learn to take a break! Yes, that’s right, you heard what I said. Take time for YOU! Take care of YOU! Yes, your kids need you. They need things from you, but you need you too. I know this is easier said than done, especially single moms. And I know that when you try to plan this for yourself something ALWAYS happens. Learn to take a break for yourself and not feel guilty.

Why should you? Well, you are a caregiver. Caregivers need a break too. If care givers don’t get breaks they will not be able to care for others for very long. Your job very ends! You are on call 24/7. How do you balance work and home? How do you care for your kids and your family? One step at a time. But, sometimes you need to take a break.

How do I take a break? Well, talk with your husband, or support network. Try to schedule time for yourself. Make a plan, and stick to it. What do you do? Well, take a nap, soak in the tub, run errands by yourself. Do something for YOURSELF! Even if it is a few minutes in your day. The dishes can wait. Your kids twenty years from now are not going to say, “Man, my mom could really clean those dishes!” No, they are going to remember the time you spent with them! And they you took care of you. Your kids will notice!

If you can get into the routine of taking care of yourself you will feel so much better as a person, a mother, a wife, an employee, a daughter. You are trying to juggle so many things at once that if you don’t set a few things down for a little bit you will be overwhelmed, overworked, and stressed out! And “when momma ain’t happy, no one happy!”

Also, learn your limits. Learn to say no! It is okay to say no to someone or something and not feel bad about it. Set your priorities and stick to them. What is important to you? Your kids, family, job, God? Stick to those things and everything else will fall into place.  You do not have to be super mom! That doesn’t exist! No one is perfect! Not even moms!

Learn to take time for yourself and not only will you feel better, but so will your kids and your family! Talk with your other mom friends to set up a way that you can help each other out and be supports for each other, both physically and emotionally. No mom can do this job alone! Get yourself some mom friends and stick together!

Be Your "Selfie"

Be Your “Selfie”

Teen girls struggle with who they are and who they are created to be. They compare themselves to others around them. They want to be “liked.” They want to be “popular.” But, according to who? To your peers? To your friends? To society? Of course, we all want to fit in somewhere, but what is the cost? Do girls need to sell out and be something they are not?

First, I want all girls out there young and not so young to know that you have a Heavenly Father who loves you more than you can imagine! You were created in HIS image! And because God made you in His image, you are not junk! You were created to have a purpose and to be beautiful just the way you are, inside and out!

God does not care that you wear the latest fashion or have an expensive purse. What He cares about is your heart. He wants you to be beautiful on the inside. It does not matter to God if you are a “girley girl,” a “tom boy,” or a “Princess.” To Him you are all princesses!

So, what does this all mean? Well, you are God’s daughter. You are the daughter of a King, so act like it! Look at yourself and decide to love yourself for who you are flaws and all. We all have flaws, no one is perfect. 

Second, do not look down on someone else! God would NEVER do that to you so don’t you dare do it to someone else! No matter how tough you think you are or how tough you think someone else is, do not treat them like less them one of God’s children! Because that is exactly what they are!

Third, your job as a daughter to the King is to love others. Will this always be easy, no! People are human and they are broken. They will most likely hurt you at some point. The key is to not let it get you down. Look up and focus on what God wants from you. 

Girls know how to be mean to each other. They fight different than boys in most cases. They gossip, lie, and do other hurtful things. As a daughter of the King try not to get yourself into situations where you are tempted to do these things to other girls. Even when a girl may have done something to you first. You need to guard your heart and mind from this behavior. Will it be hard, absolutely!

You also need to be on guard for girls who try to do these things to you as well. Be aware of who these girls are and most likely stay clear of them. These girls could end up causing more hurt and pain. They are not worth trying to be friends with even if they are part of the “popular” group. Remember God is the one you need your approval from not others around you.

Learn to love yourself so you can love others. Be your “selfie!” Look at yourself and others the way God does. With nothing but unconditional love!