Has Your Child's 'Tude Turned Rude?

Has Your Child’s ‘Tude Turned Rude?

We can all have an attitude from time to time. Why are kids any different? We all have bad days or things that are bothering us, adults and kids alike. Sometimes we need help to bring ourselves back into reality.

Have you been out in public and your child has said something so rude that you just want to crawl under a rock? What do you do? How do you handle it? You may need to help your child rephrase something so that it isn’t so bold or blunt. Kid’s need to learn to have filters too. This is a matter of redirecting or guiding your child to say something in a kinder way. This needs to have a learning curve involved before punishment happens.

Then there are times when your child very much has an attitude and they are being down right rude to you or others and they know it. How do you handle that without you know, being rude back? You have thoughts like, “You totally know better then that!”

Yes, your child’s attitude needs to be put in check. Yes, there needs to be a talk about saying things in a kind way and not being rude on purpose. But, also remember, just like we adults, your child may be stressed about something or someone has been rude to them and they are acting out.

Have a talk with your child about what may be bothering them. Asking what their day was like. Maybe there is something going on at school like teasing or bullying. This could very easily cause someone to lash out or be rude. Maybe they are stressed about something else?

Now, yes, their attitude needs to be put back into check. They should not be allowed to be rude to someone. Do a little investigative work and find out what is happening in your child’s life to cause this type of reaction.

Then there are times when kids get an attitude with you just because you told them “no.” This is where you as a parent need to correct the behavior the best you can. Kids know how to push parents’ buttons so well that they can even do it in their sleep. This is the type of behavior that needs to be addressed on a regular basis. It is a sign of showing disrespect that needs to be ended before it becomes a big problem.

It could be helpful to find a good family therapist to help you with this. Someone who is neutral and who can talk to both parent and child to help work out the issues that are causing the attitude. As a therapist I have parents tell me all the time that they can say the exact same thing I did and their child listens to me but not them. The difference? I am not their parent. I don’t not have authority in their lives, and if they hear it from someone else they realize that what they are doing is not right.

Kids and teens will forever have attitudes that will make the most confident parent irritated and embarrassed. The trick is communicating with your child and trying to get to the bottom of the problem, even if that needs seeking professional help.