Just Stop it Already!

Just Stop it Already!

I have been in private practice for ten years. I have worked with children in different ways for many years before that. Kids tell me all kinds of things. Some are funny, happy, sad, angry, irritating, and every other feeling you can think of.

As kids come to my office for the first time they may be unsure of me, and that is okay. I am a stranger to them. I take my time to build trust with them. After all they are coming to me because some other person has hurt them or life just happens and they feel broken and hurt.

As we get to know each other they begin to trust me with their “story.” They tell me what is bothering them. What their worries are, or fears, or the things that scare them. They tell me of being physically hurt by an adult who was supposed to protect them. They tell me of the scary fight they witnessed between their parents and the police coming to arrest a parent. They tell me how many beers or drinks their parent had the night before. Keep in mind, these are CHILDREN!

They have fears they don’t even realize they have. They trust very few adults if any. They may be going hungry because there isn’t food in the house. They may be homeless because rent didn’t get paid. These are CHILDREN!

There are times I as a person who loves children and works with them daily, I just want to look at the adults I talk to, to tell them to just STOP IT!!! Just stop! Stop hurting your child. This is your child. Whether you like it or not you are responsible for them. They look to you for help, support, and protection. Now mind you most of the time the parent or adult I want to yell at is not coming to my office because they don’t see a problem with what they do to their child. Or they just want me to “fix” their child. I want to look at them and tell them, you did it! You wonder why your child acts out? Take a look around!

Children deserve to be in a loving, caring, supportive environment. They deserve to be provided for and have their needs met. Just so we are clear on what I mean by “needs,” food, shelter, clothes, and education, medical care, and protection.

Children are not something to use, abuse, fight over, manipulate and hurt. Children are a blessing from God. They did not ask to be born. They didn’t choose parents who would harm them or neglect them. Children are to be treasured and loved not hurt and abused.

So, adults, take a look around you. Are your actions causing harm to your child? Do you need to change in order to be a better parent? Do you need to listen to what your child is trying to tell you? If you need help as an adult/parent then let down your pride and ask! Your child with thank you for it.

If you work with children or see a child who seems to have lots of “issues” it may be a way to ask for help and you may just be the person for the job. Take a stand against hurting children and teens. Sometimes they are to scared to talk and they need to have someone speak on their behalf.

The kids who come in my office know that they are “my kiddos” and I do the best job I can to help them and help them feel safe. That is a promise I try very hard to keep!